We were both amazed at how much our 3 year olds understood

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Murray Family

We were both amazed at how much our 3 year olds understood

The Murray Family contacted Wonders & Worries in 2008, when Jim, was diagnosed with inoperable GBM (Glioblastoma). The children (now 7-year old twins, and an 11-year old daughter) received support services through Jim’s diagnosis, treatment, and death. Recently, the mom, Sondra, was diagnosed with breast cancer.

“We were both so concerned about the best way to talk to the children. How do we tell our children that their father was dying? Wonders and Worries gave us a game plan for what information to give at what time, the words to use — everything we needed.  It was amazing as every spare minute that Jim and I had was spent going to doctor’s appointments, radiologist appointments, dealing with insurance, and trying to keep Jim alive. W&W immediately began individual counseling with the children.  We were both amazed at how much our 3 year olds understood.  And, we found out emotions that our 7 year old was having that we did not realize — sadness and missing time spent with mommy as I was so busy with Jim.   I could basically turn over the worry about the children to Wonders and Worries and know they were in good hands.  The children explored their emotions through art and play guided by a child life specialist.  My time could be spent comforting the children, reading children’s books about cancer and life cycles (provided by W & W), and playing with them.  The children learned that cancer was not contagious and they did not cause it.  They learned to be angry at the chemo and cancer rather than their dad when his illness caused him to be tired or irritable.  They have learned that they are very strong.  They love their dad and remember him positively.  Anna, Jay, and Claire have continued monthly group therapy at W&W in the 21 months since Jim’s death.  It was extremely helpful this June when I was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer.  I knew from experience to be honest with the children about my diagnosis and what to expect, but it was very hard to think about talking to them a little over a year after their father passed away from cancer.  Wonders and Worries talked me through what to do.  The children cried the first day, but they understand my diagnosis is different from Jim’s.  They have been very confident since the first day and have handled it beautifully.  My children are sweet, happy, and joyful.  We would not be where we are today without Wonders and Worries. “

Sondra Murray

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